Project Description

Open Monogamy: A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement by Dr. Tammy Nelson

A practical guide for creating non-traditional relationship agreements that work―from a certified sex therapist and relationships expert. Creating an open monogamy agreement can be an expression of love that’s unique and exclusive to the two of you and whomever you choose to invite into that love. Open monogamy is a form of relationship based on love, commitment, and a desire for honesty and transparency. Open monogamy starts with curiosity, conversations, and a discourse on personal boundaries. Open monogamy is a way to structure your commitment. You can have a little structure or lots of rules, it’s totally up to you. Open monogamy is a fluid and flexible form of monogamy. It could mean finding more pleasure and excitement together, in private, or it could mean welcoming in new partners. Adding to your relationship or expanding it can be a way to express more respect for each other.


“Open monogamy is the #1 topic on so many of my patients’ minds and is fast redefining what it means to be a couple. Whether you’re curious, contemplating, or creating an open monogamy plan, I can think of no one better than Tammy Nelson to guide you every step of the way through the peaks and valleys of your journey.” ―Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First

“Tammy Nelson has provided us with a hopeful, practical, and realistic guide to creating honest, values-led, flexible relationship agreements. With exercises, conversation guides, and stories from real life and the therapy room, she illuminates infinite possibilities for crafting unique and flexible forms of monogamy.” ―Martha Kauppi, LMFT, CST-S, author of Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients)

“Dr. Tammy Nelson’s newest book, Open Monogamy, updates conceptions of monogamy to include the many different ways people relate today. With wit and compassion, and informed by decades of experience, Nelson guides readers through a deep consideration of how to build their ideal relationship. Open Monogamy provides thoughtful and useful guidance that is easy to understand and refreshingly free of judgment.” ―Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, author of The Polyamorists Next Door, Stories from the Polycule, When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous, and Children in Polyamorous Families

“When you agree to become monogamous, you agree to exile the parts of you that want something more or different than what your partner can offer. Many are willing to make this sacrifice in return for the sense of security that comes from restricting their partner’s access to others. That restricting itself, however, can jeopardize relationships because those exiled parts don’t disappear and, instead, may grow in influence over time.

“In this well-written and researched book, Tammy Nelson offers her years of experience helping couples navigate the turbulent waters of reappraising their commitments and potentially opening their relationships. Her sage advice is comprehensive, covering the pleasures as well as the pitfalls of taking such steps, and individualized―‘opening’ has many meanings and includes a spectrum of behaviors. If you are considering such a move, you won’t find better guidance!” ―Richard Schwartz, PhD, developer of the Internal Family Systems model and author of No Bad Parts

“Open Monogamy provides a unique, creative road map for expanding your relationship in a healthy and honest way. Drawing on the experience of real couples, it provides expert advice and concrete exercises to help you live a life of passion while being true to yourself and those you love.” ―Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD, author of After the Affair and How Can I Forgive You?

“Dr. Tammy Nelson is not just a brilliant sex and relationship educator, sought-after international speaker, and extraordinary author but also a forward-thinking thought leader in today’s sexual revolution. In Open Monogamy, she guides and supports you and your partner to make the rules on your terms so you can stay together in a committed and healthy way while exploring other options in the bedroom, instead of just fantasizing about it. She makes this delicate conversation shameless. I love learning from Dr. Tammy and so will you!” ―Dr. Sherry Ross, author of She-ology and She-ology: The She-quel and cohost of the television series Lady Parts

“Dr. Tammy Nelson is a relationship revolutionary. Her rethinking of monogamy―as a practice, a continuum, and a flexible concept―is on point, actionable, and nothing less than a significant cultural shift. With Open Monogamy, she is back to blow minds and enhance partnerships.” ―Wednesday Martin, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Primates of Park Avenue and Untrue.

Dr. Tammy Nelson, Ph.D.

About the Dr. Tammy Nelson, Ph.D.

Tammy Nelson, PhD, is a licensed psychotherapist, Board Certified Sexologist, Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Imago Relationship Therapist. She is a TEDx speaker and the host of The Trouble with Sex podcast. Her books include Getting the Sex You Want and The New Monogamy. She is executive director of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute and has been a featured expert in the New York Times Magazine and the Washington Post, on CNN, and more.